What Matters Most

“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Save $100,000 for retirement. Buy a new car. Get a promotion at work. Lose weight for my high school reunion. Do these goals sound familiar? They’re probably shared by many, and can be well worth working toward. I have goals like these myself. But I was really surprised how little they mattered all of a sudden when I faced some difficult losses last year.

At that time, I found my thoughts centering around four key areas in my life..

• Relationships
• Gratitude
• Health
• Contribution

Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying these four things are all that matter, just that I suspect they’re what matter most. And there’s a big presumption and precondition that basic requirements like food, safety and security are not lacking — which sadly aren’t for many.

However, if you’re among the fortunate to have those fundamental needs met, I believe that although having nice things can provide some short-term enjoyment, I don’t think it’s what ultimately make people “happy” and that happiness itself may be an overrated aspiration. How long were you happy with the last gadget, outfit or other shiny new toy before you began restlessly looking for the next. Perhaps instead we should strive for something a little deeper — lives that are fulfilling, content, satisfying, rewarding and meaningful.

I’m still trying to save for retirement and I do need to replace my car, but at the top of my ever-growing to-do list, these four priorities now hold a permanent and prominent place — and I try to relate my tasks and allocate my time to them as much as I can. I find more satisfaction in activities like cooking when I see it as an act of love for my family. And everyday chores somehow become less mundane, more meaningful, and even easier to accomplish when remind myself of their connection to what’s really important in my life.

So each day I set my intention to do something good for my body, good for someone else, and a little something good for the world around me. And I try to appreciate all that I have while I work toward things I want. Does it all happen every day? No, but I’ll keep trying.

I hope that this will be a place to share some wisdom as well as our successes and failures as we strive to live well and achieve all our goals, especially the most important ones.